Thursday, January 28, 2016

Winning the Battle Over Debt

Wow....it's been a super long time since I wrote a post!  SO much has happened since 2013...it's hard to know where to start!  My husband and I lost a baby boy in April, 2013 - and we welcomed a beautiful new daughter in November, 2015.  I lost the beloved job I'd had for more than 6 years, started a new job, then decided to quit working altogether to focus on being a wife, mom, and home educator to our oldest daughter.  There have been valleys and victories along the way as well, but more than anything, we are BLESSED!  Blessed beyond belief!

It's been within recent days that I've really gained a renewed determination to eliminate our financial debt.  Now, we aren't a family who lives beyond our means, but we do have things like student loan debt as well as our mortgage that I'd love to drastically reduce if not eliminate altogether.  I've been trying to think of ways that I can, once again, help with the financial load of our home and make a harder push at reducing our debt more quickly. 

I've always been pretty creative - I love art, design, and color - so I decided to give my hand at designing and selling t-shirts to supplement our family's income.  My plan is to focus on creating t-shirts that encourage and empower Christian women in their daily walk with the Lord.  I'll be doing this through a partnership with teespring.com.

I currently have one t-shirt design available for purchase.  Feel free to check it out here: 

https://teespring.com/reminder-we-are-daughte-9181


Moving forward, I'd love to have some input and suggestions as to what types of sayings, Bible verses, or words of encouragement others would like to see on a t-shirt, hoodie, tank, or long sleeved shirt - what would bring YOU encouragement and would be something you would enjoy wearing for others to see?  Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and I'll work on putting them in to a design! 

Until next time...

Tracy

Sunday, August 11, 2013

What is "Peace?"

A few weeks ago, I embarked on this "quest," of sorts, to challenge the way we, as moms, think, act, dress, etc.  In my June 12, 2013 blog entry, A Truly Random Ramble, I challenged readers to examine things in their lives that seem driven by the world's standard.  Things like clothing, movies, language, activities and asked,  "What do those things in your life say about you?"  And, more importantly, what things are our children learning from the way we dress, speak, etc?

In today's entry, I want to discuss a particular design or symbol found on many children's and even ladies clothing these days - the peace symbol.  Growing up, I was never allowed to wear or own anything with the peace sign - my mom always said it was a sign indicative of the Satanic cult.  And yet, this seemingly harmless emblem keeps popping up everywhere - more and more - especially in recent years.  You can now get anything from pencils to t-shirts to underwear emblazoned with the famous circle and "chicken foot" design.

Now that I have my own daughter, and department store shelves seem readily stocked with most any article of clothing with this symbol of "peace" stamped all over, I decided it was time for me to do my own homework on the origins of the Peace Sign and what it REALLY represents...

I found a website called GotQuestions.org and found the best most comprehensive definition and explanation of the origin of the peace sign.  Here's what their website has to say (quoted in purple):


The logo commonly recognized as the “peace sign” since the late ‘50s supposedly began as the logo for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND). According to the CND, it was designed in 1958 by an English professional artist/designer named Gerald Holtom, who had graduated from the Royal College of Arts. Holtom, a conscientious objector who had preferred working on a Norfolk farm during WWII instead of joining the conflict, incorporated the hand-held flag symbols (semaphores) for N and D into his logo, the N standing for “nuclear” and the D for “disarmament.” In semaphore, the letter N is formed by a person holding two flags in an upside-down V






and the letter D is formed by holding one flag pointed straight up and the other pointed straight down.



By superimposing the flag orientation of these two letters, the bars of the peace sign were derived.

Holtom presented his design to officials in the Peace News office in London and to the Direct Action Committee Against Nuclear War. The Direct Action Committee was already planning its first major anti-nuclear march from London to Aldermaston, where British nuclear weapons were manufactured. Bertrand Russell, an organizer of this march, selected the symbol to be placed on buttons and banners for the march. The "peace sign" made its first public appearance in the U.K. on that march over the 1958 Easter weekend. Holtom originally had intended to use the cross symbol within a circle as the logo for the march but various clergy he consulted about the idea were obviously not enthusiastic about using the cross on a protest banner. Holtom described the use of the downward V to represent the despair that he felt due to nuclear proliferation. He later reportedly regretted his choice, rather preferring an upward V, which he felt would express the joy of peace. He requested that the upward V peace sign be placed on his tomb, but this request was not heeded.

The symbol was brought to the U.S. by Bayard Rustin, a U.S. civil rights protester, who had participated in the Aldermaston march. The peace sign was first used in the United States later in the same year when a pacifist protestor, Albert Bigelow, sailed his small boat near a scheduled U.S. nuclear test site displaying the CND banner. It was later used on civil rights marches and appeared at anti-Vietnam War demonstrations.

The reported origin of the symbol has been clearly documented in letters, interviews, and the original sketches of the symbol, which are now displayed in the Peace Museum in Bradford, U.K. However, there have been a variety of claims that the symbol has Communist, occult or anti-Christian meanings and derivations. 


The controversy is fully understood when one examines the historical use of the same signal. The downward V has been linked to the mystic character for ”Aum,” a sacred word to the Hindu. Saying “Aum” over and over supposedly awakens the power of Brahma at the base of the spine. 

Germanic tribes that used it claimed the sign, or “rune,” to have eerie, mystical properties. It is said that it was used by sorcerers in pagan ceremonies. The Saracens in A.D. 711 used this symbol to alternately represent a broken cross, a raven's claw, or a witch's foot, all presumably satanic symbols. 

Under the reign of Roman Emperor Nero, infamous for his brutal persecution of Christians and Jews, this symbol was prominently used to represent a broken cross or broken Jew. Nero crucified the Apostle Peter upside down, and the horrific event resembled the downward-pointing fork. It was thereafter called the Neronic cross. 

With the Third Reich steeped in the occult, Hitler's 3rd Panzer Division used this same symbol from 1941 to 1945. The symbol in Germany is called a todesrune or death rune. It often appeared on death notices. It is also found on some of the tombstones of the notorious SS soldiers. 

For Bertrand Russell, a supporter of communism, the symbol meant not only communism but also peace without God. 

Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan, used the downward-pointing fork as the background for his altar. The Book of Signs, written by Rudolph Koch, indicates that the downward-pointing fork means “the death of man,” and, with the circle around it meaning “total,” the entire symbol means “the total death of all people.”

Holtom never professed to have any knowledge of any historical use of this symbol. However, it is certain that Bertrand Russell was well aware of the satanic and anti-Christian roots of the symbol. He chose it accordingly. It is possible that Holtom learned of the symbol’s dubious past at some point, prompting his desire to convert the symbol to an upward-pointing V. The underlying meaning of the circle with the downward pointing fork, “the total death of man,” certainly is contrary to what the peace movement wanted in its anti-nuclear stance.

Whatever the origin, meaning, and usage of the peace sign, this much is clear: it speaks of a false peace—"'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace" (Jeremiah 6:14b). There can be no true peace until "we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" (Romans 5:1). Rather than looking for peace in a symbol, may we all turn our eyes to the only true source of peace. "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace" (Numbers 6:24-26).


In all actuality, when the peace sign is worn, it stands as an outward support of a symbol that was created and used long before Gerald Holtom presented the design he claimed as his own - a symbol that, at it's roots, represents horrendous evil and heinous acts carried out in numerous well documented times throughout history.  

I think it's quite clear that although Gerald Holtom designed the peace sign as the logo for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, even he "reportedly regretted his choice, rather preferring an upward V, which he felt would express the joy of peace."  However, by that time, Bertrand Russell, "a supporter of communism," had already chosen the symbol to be placed on buttons and banners for the Easter, 1958 anti-nuclear march from London to Aldermaston and the usage of the symbol spread from there.  Russell still chose to use the symbol even though he was "well aware of the satanic and anti-Christian roots of the symbol."  

As a Christ follower, I personally will not wear or promote a symbol, sign, group, or cause that speaks against my Lord and Savior - whether blatantly as the numerous well-documented instances of the past, or hidden behind a claim of "peace" in the present.  I challenge others to do the same.



Daring to Care

I'm sitting here at my computer with tons of thoughts flowing through my mind - things I want to include in this blog entry, but for the life of me, I can't figure out where to start!

I have a question I want to pose - a question that I'd asked myself a thousand times before, but never quite knew how I'd respond until a couple of weeks ago.  Here it is:

How would you respond if someone you knew called you on the carpet about something?  How would you react?  Would you get defensive?  Angry?  Offended?  Would you accept it as "constructive criticism" and just brush it off?  Would you ponder and meditate on it?  Would you accept what has been pointed out as a potential problem spot or issue that you may need to address - or would you accuse that someone of being judgmental?  Really - how would YOU respond?

Now, I'm not talking about some stranger off the street or some bully at school giving you a piece of their mind.  No.  I'm talking about someone you know be it a friend, family member, or co-worker - someone who may or may not know you well, but knows you well enough to point out an inconsistency or point of concern.  Someone who, to one degree or another, cares about you enough to bring a concern to light.

I honestly didn't know myself how I would react to something like that until about 2 weeks ago.

Following my miscarriage in April, it was brought to my attention that a medication I'd been on - one that had been approved as being "safe" for pregnant women - has now been suspected of potentially causing birth defects in unborn babies.  I had been on that medication, Zoloft, for about 5 years for a condition related to my menstrual cycle called Premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD.  After hearing about the potential problems of being on Zoloft, my husband and I decided that I would go off of the medication while we're still in "family growing" mode.  So, in mid-May, I began the month long process of weaning myself off Zoloft.

It wasn't until the medication began to decrease in my body that I fully realized how much it had been helping.  In short, PMDD is a severe form of PMS.  (You can read more about PMDD here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pmdd.  The symptoms of PMDD generally dominate my body for about 2 of every 4 weeks and can be truly paralyzing.

My first month off of Zoloft wasn't too bad, but as week 5 began, I hit a wall - fast and hard.  It was like my world flipped upside down.  Not only am I still working through the grief and loss of my son, but being off of the Zoloft left my body trudging it's way through the day-to-day grind completing process after process with hormone levels completely out of whack.  It has felt like a war raging inside from my head to my toes and no matter what I do, the war rages on because the human body, in all it's wonder and glory, continues on in the only way it knows how.

I have several wonderful girl friends who I've shared my struggles with.  Friends who have comforted me, prayed with and for me, and who always offer a listening ear or warm embrace when I need it.  This internal war, however, is really quite a downer and after a while, I've felt that all I do is complain and emit this almost negative aura, and so I've tried to stop talking about the ache - not because I think my friends don't care, but because I'm tired of always being "Johnny Raincloud."  The last thing in the world that I want is to bring them down because the war zone of the mind and body is a very messy place.

Two weeks ago, though, my dear friend, Bethany called.  I've really not known Bethany very long.  She, her husband, and children had been part of our church Life Group.  We had really just been getting to know each other when their family relocated to Florida for Bethany's husband's job.  We have continued to stay in touch, though, calling one another about every other week just to touch base and check in.  The friendship between Bethany and I changed drastically, though, in April following my miscarriage.  Bethany and her husband have lost two babies of their own and she is well aware of the wave of emotions and grief that follow.

Bethany and I had been playing phone tag for a few days when we were finally able to connect on a Sunday night.  What started out as our normal "how's life" conversation turned into a 3 hour long time of healing when I poured my heart out to her and she poured love, compassion, and understanding in to me.  I told Bethany about my war and how hopeless and helpless I felt and in so many ways, I knew she understood.

A few days later, Bethany called again.  Our conversation started off as usual - how are you?  How's life?  Anything new?  And then, once again, it turned.  Bethany told me that I'd been on her heart and that she was really concerned about me.  She told me she was nervous about what she needed to tell me, but went on to say something to the effect of, "I know I'm not a doctor, and I'm not trying to be all up in your business, but I really don't think it's a good idea for you to off your medicine right now.  Girl, you just need to cry, eat some ice cream, and give yourself time to heal - it's OK!  And remember - God is SO much bigger than any medication or talk of birth defects - He can do anything!"

I tell you - I was shocked.  For the first time - I'm tempted to say the first time in my life - someone cared - REALLY cared in a way so crazy and radical that they even DARED to say something like that to me.  That's huge!  At least it was to me.  Bethany didn't just listen to me spout out my troubles - my complaints and my heartache - but she listened - even to the things I didn't say - and she called me on the carpet for trying to handle too much especially when I'm really not in a place to handle much at all.  And I'm so glad that she did.

As I hung up the phone, I remember feeling relieved - relieved that someone had pointed out a HUGE problem in me.  That someone cared enough to "get all up in my business" and call out an inconsistency and a point of concern.  I'm not saying that it'll be that easy the next time, or that I won't be hurt or offended, but take it from someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum - it's never fun to do the confronting, and it's generally not fun to be confronted.  But it's something we are all called to do.  If you are a follower of Christ, than you, like me, are called to "be up in each others business," to care enough to point out the problems, to offer advice when needed, and to bear the burdens of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I'm happy to report that I'm now 3 days back into taking Zoloft.  It'll be a couple of weeks before I'm feeling back up to speed again, but at least I'm starting to see the light on the horizon.  And Bethany, if you read this, you can be "all up in my business" any. time. you. want. 



  









 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

A Truly "Random Ramble..."

Since giving birth to our daughter a little over 4 years ago, I have become acutely aware of the people around me - much more so than before our sweet girl was born.  My husband and I began evaluating things like the people we hung around - if they were folks we'd want influencing our daughter as she grows up.  Would they be the kind of people who's lifestyles, behaviors, and beliefs line up with ours in so much that if, for whatever reason, Madeline would decide she couldn't come to Brian and I with an issue, that our friends would give her the same advice and guidance as we would?   

I also began overhauling our movie collection.  We don't own anything pornographic in nature or overly violent, but I admit we definitely had some movies in our repetoire that were definitely not ones I'd want Madeline to see.  For example, the movie "Double Jeopardy."  It's an interesting movie staring Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones, however, in a scene toward the beginning of the movie, Ashley Judd's character is in an intimate scene with her on screen husband in which she is completely nude from the waist up.  It was one of those scenes that I really never thought about until Madeline came along and I got to thinking - is THIS what I'd want her to accidentally see or is this a movie I'd feel comfortable with our friends seeing in my collection??  The answer is a resounding NO! 

One of the biggest areas of life that I've really had to examine is not only how I dress, but how I allow, and will allow, my daughter to dress.  Ya know, parents, we have a HUGE responsibility to train and raise our children in light of God's standard.  The precedent we set with our children at an early age is going to set the stage for the rest of their lives - that's quite the responsibility, if you think about it!  The way we allow our kids to dress - or the clothes we put them in - even at an early age is going to be the standard by which we allow them to dress in the future.  So, I ask you, Moms and Dads - what's the standard that YOU are creating even now - are you going to teach your children, or as in my case, my daughter, to dress as a prostitute, or a young lady seeking after God's heart?

First, let's define "prostitute."  I think it many ways, we all have our ideals of what a prostitute is or is not.  According to Wikipedia, Prostitution is the business or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment.  The person who receives payment for sexual services is called a prostitute..."  Wikipedia goes on to say the word, ""Prostitute" is derived from the Latin prostituta. Some sources cite the verb as a composition of "pro" meaning "up front" or "forward" and "situere", defined as "to offer up for sale".  Another explanation is that "prostituta" is a composition of pro and statuere (to cause to stand, to station, place erect). A literal translation therefore is: "to put up front for sale" or "to place forward". The online Etymology Dictionary states, "The notion of 'sex for hire' is not inherent in the etymology, which rather suggests one 'exposed to lust' or sex 'indiscriminately offered.'"  

Based on this definition, it's easy to see how we can allow especially our daughters to dress in such a manner as "to place forward," "expose [them] to lust," or indiscriminately offer them, intentionally or not, to the inappropriate looks and thoughts of boys and men around us.  Street prostitutes, in specific, solicit customers while waiting at street corners, sometimes called "the track" by pimps and prostitutes alike. They usually dress in skimpy, provocative clothing, regardless of the weather.  

How different, then, are WE when we dress in skimpy, provocative clothing or allow our daughters to do the same?  The intent for dressing provocatively may be different than that of a prostitute, but the result of dressing in such a manner is the same - it draws the eyes of men and inappropriate thoughts to be conjured up in the hearts and minds of those of the opposite sex who see us.

Our young girls need to cling to such a degree of modesty that their attire and behavior fails to say, "Look at me," and instead point to Christ and says, "Look at my Creator - His name is Jesus Christ.  Isn't HE amazing!"

Here's an interesting though - young girls, ladies - married or not - think about your swim attire for this summer.  Does what you're wearing cause the men you'll encounter to look to the Creator, or to YOU, the creation?  Does your attire cause your brother to stumble?  Does your clothing, or lack thereof, cause men around you to create thoughts in their minds - the kind of thoughts that only husbands should have for their wives?  Think about this - REALLY think about it.  If your answer is the latter, if your swim suit screams to the opposite sex, "Look at me - look at my body - aren't I HOT!?," then, Ladies, it's time to go shopping...

I'm sure there are a lot of people thinking, "Well, I'm not responsible for the way a guy thinks."  And I can tell you that type of thinking is down right incorrect.  Men are very visual creatures.  That's how they're designed.  And women, in contrast, are the object of what men see.  We are capable of having a VERY serious effect on men - from the way we walk and talk to the way we shrug our hair off our shoulders down to the way we dress.  Don't believe me?  Then I'd seriously suggest you pick up a really great book called "Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild" by Mary Kassian and prepare to be enlightened...

I will likely expand on this topic in days to come.  But for now I leave you with this challenge:  Examine those things in your life that seem driven by the world's standard.  Things like clothing, movies, language, activities.  What do those things in your life say about you?  Do you resemble, or are you emitting the persona, of a scantily clad woman seeking attention from strangers?  Or is your heart, mind, soul, and body SO immersed in the Creator that those around you must seek HIM in order to truly see you??







Thursday, June 6, 2013

Kale Rowan Teachout

It's been a while since my last blog entry - too long, I suppose.  So much has happened in the past weeks and months that I don't even know where to begin!

Tonight, though, I'm sitting at my computer feeling very compelled to tell a story - the story of the sweet baby boy my husband and I lost on April 21, 2013.  I will insert a disclaimer here that I have included photos in this post that some may find offensive.  If that's you - please accept my heartfelt apologies.  However, my intentions are simple.  If you or someone you know is pro-choice - encourage them to read this post and to consider the truth.

After two and a half years of trying for a second child, my husband and I finally conceived.  We were thrilled beyond belief and didn't even know until I was already 6 weeks along.  Sadly, at 11 weeks 5 days, our sweet son's heart stopped beating and he slipped away into the arms of Jesus.  So many think that a child at this stage of development is nothing more than a blob of goo or unidentifiable tissue - this post is to not just tell you, but SHOW you that is wrong and a complete and total lie... 



We found out we were pregnant on March 6, 2013.  I took a pregnancy test from Walmart and then went to the hospital in Pella for a blood test that confirmed it.  According to the blood work, I was 6-7 weeks along!



On March 8, 2013 we had our first ultrasound.  My mom was able to go with me and we were able to see “Baby Bean" and watch the tiny flutter of his heart beating - heart rate was 145.



On April 5, 2013, I had my second ultrasound.  My mom, dad, and daughter, Madeline, were there.  Baby Bean had grown SO much and we could easily see a head, arms, legs, and hands.  Bean was moving and kicking, although I could not yet feel his tiny movements, and we got to hear the strong steady sound of a heart beat - heart rate was 195.



On April 8, 2013, I had my first prenatal appointment with my doctor, Dr. Anne Hellbusch.  She told me that Baby's heart rate at the ultrasound was high, but that she had consulted with a specialist who said there was nothing to do at this point, but just monitor things closely.  Dr. Hellbusch was able to find the heartbeat again using a Doppler machine and Bean’s heart rate was still high – somewhere in the 190’s.

Up to my April 8th appointment, I had been having some very minor bleeding/spotting.  Dr. Hellbusch said it was nothing to worry about and to be sure to drink plenty of fluids.  Following my April 8th appointment, however, the bleeding was somewhat worst and culminated in a visit to the  ER on Sunday morning, April 14 as I had increased bleeding and a small (dime size) clot.
Neither the ER doctor or nurse could find Baby Bean’s heart beat.  They did some blood work which showed my pregnancy hormone was "a little low," which I later found out was actually in the 17000’s – it should have been 50,000+.  After 2 hours, the doctor sent me home saying that time would give us our best answer as to what was going on.

On Monday morning, April 15, I called Dr. Hellbusch’s office to report my ER visit the day before.  They set up an appointment for me to come in and have Dr. Hellbusch try to find the heart beat.  My appointment was at 10:00a.m. and Madeline was with me.  Dr. Hellbusch was unable to find the baby’s heart beat and said things looked bleak.  She sent us down to ultrasound and, sadly, it was confirmed that Baby Bean did not have a heart beat.  Dr. Hellbusch said that Baby had likely passed at some point over the weekend.  Brian and I are guessing Saturday, April 13th as I was particularly tired and worm out that day and slept most of the day away.

Dr. Hellbusch sent us home with some materials about the Empty Cradle program through Hospice, designed to help folks who have lost children, as well as a supplies so that we could attempt to “catch” the miscarriage once it happened.  I had too much of a hard time with the thought of just flushing Baby Bean down the toilet. 

The next days were agonizingly long as I waited for the miscarriage to take place.  My sister, Melanie, came and spent Monday afternoon with me, Tanya, a dear friend from college, came on Tuesday.  Wednesday and Thursday were miserable days of rain and storms where Madeline and I were home alone.  I spent most of those days pacing - just waiting for something - anything - to happen.  The highlight of those days was that Brian and I chose a name for our baby.  We decided that we would give our baby the name Kale Rowan Teachout – Kale, which means “Sower of Truth” and Rowan meaning “Purchased.”   

My folks came on Friday which was a huge blessing after having spent 2 days alone.   
Saturday, April 20 was a beautiful, warm, sunny, Spring day.  Brian, Madeline and I spent much of it outside just enjoying time as a family.  Madeline had been really struggling all week with the loss of the baby.  We’re not quite sure how much of it she understands, but we can tell she’s very troubled by some of it.  She had been with me during my second ultrasound and had seen Kale's heart beating - she was also there the day we found out he was gone and saw his tiny body, via ultrasound, - no heart beat to be seen or heard.  

We started the morning off by getting Subway sandwiches and taking them out to Grandma and Grandpa’s farm for lunch.  Grandpa had his knee replaced on April 1 and was really having cabin fever – so we decided to go spend some time out there.  We headed back to our place around 2:00 and let our dogs, Zip and Dash, have a good hour and a half of exercise/play time.  We ended up heading over to our investment property around 4:30 to do some measuring and sifting through the dead grass and weeds for treasures, or “lost things” as Madeline calls them.  I really started getting worn out and tired and my low back was aching.  We headed home around 7:00 where I warmed up leftovers of Italian tomato chicken for Brian and chili for Madeline and I.  We put Madeline to bed around 9:00p.m. and Brian and I watched some TV before calling it a night.  I crawled in to bed around 10:30, but my terrible head/chest cold kept me from sleeping with incessant coughing and wheezing so I moved to the recliner in the living room. 

At 11:21p.m. I experienced my first contraction.  I wasn’t 100% sure that’s what it was, but as the night went on, I was certain that was what I was experiencing.  By 2:03a.m. I was in the bathroom for a potty break and prepared the bathroom for what was coming.  I cleaned the toilet and put my “hat” on the seat so it would all be ready when the time came.   

Finally, around 3:30a.m., I had a very strong contraction and could tell what was happening.  I made it to the bathroom just in time as Kale literally fell from my body onto the linoleum floor - PERFECTLY INTACT!  I gently picked our baby up and held him in my hand.


 
I called Brian and for the next hour and a half we stayed in the bathroom taking turns holding our precious child, crying, and thanking the Lord for the gift He’d given us.  Our baby was perfect – 10 fingers and 10 toes.   






Long arms and legs, just like Madeline.  Amazingly, it was as if God had literally cupped our child in His hands and delivered him to the bathroom floor – there was no blood on Kale – not even a drop!  Kale was a peachy color – covered in flesh.  The umbilical cord was no longer attached, but a small red bump on his tummy showed where it had been.  We took many pictures and awed at all of his tiny features – so intricately and perfectly formed!  He was truly the work of a Master Artist!  

Finally, I took a green and white striped flannel blanket and cut a small square to swaddle Kale in.



We wrapped our tiny baby in the cloth, kissed him, prayed another prayer of thanksgiving, and laid him in a beautiful tiny silver box. 




We don't know why we lost our lost our precious son, but I know, without a doubt, that our experience is part of God's greater plan for our lives.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of Kale, but I have no doubt that the first face my sweet boy saw was that of our Lord and Savior and that he's running and rejoicing in His presence - PERFECT!  And THAT gives me great comfort!   

Kale's name means "Sower of Truth," and I can't end this post without taking the opportunity to use his story to do just that - sow truth in the hearts and minds of those who may read this.

In the United States, 15 states have legalized abortions as far as 24 weeks gestation.  The fact is, a baby has a 35% chance of surviving outside the womb at 23 weeks - by 24 weeks, that number jumps to 70%!!!  (The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists, 2003).  People - we are killing children!  FACT - end of story!  There is NO DOUBT that at just shy of 12 weeks gestation, my son WAS formed - every feature from his eyes, nose, ears, mouth, fingers, toes.  He was NOT a blob of goo, mass of cells, or unidentifiable tissue - but a tiny little boy - a person - WORTHY of life!  No child is a mistake and each and every one should be treasured, protected, and fought for!

I'm no law maker or politician - I have absolutely nothing to gain by writing this post - but I believe there is oh so much to be lost if people like me don't come forward and share our stories.

What's more is by NOT sharing these words and images, my son will have died in vain.  Kale will simply be one of the many miscarried babies who the world doesn't recognize as a person or "human," when, in fact, he was truly a miniature developing YOU - and a mini developing me.  We ALL begin this way - created in our mother's womb and knit together with precision.  We are ALL "Kale's" at one point in our lives - we are ALL human - alive and developing from the moment of conception.  From the moment egg and sperm unite, life begins and your baby's sex, eye color and hair color along with all other inherited characteristics are determined!  At that very moment, the division of cells commences and some 266 days later, the cell division process culminates into the newborn baby you'll hold in your arms!  By week 5 a tiny heart begins to beat.  We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made!!

You wouldn't intentionally hinder or impede the growth and development of the child you hold in your arms, let alone do something that would cause that child's heart to stop beating thereby ending life - why, or more importantly, how, could one do just that to the child growing in the womb - regardless of developmental stage?   

Thoughts to ponder until next time...





Thursday, February 21, 2013

Shrimp Fried Rice

I tried a new recipe today and posted a few tantalizing tid bits on Facebook.  Needless to say, I had a few people asking me for the recipe so, rather than plugging up a huge post on my Timeline, I decided to make a new blog entry instead.  I'll post the actual recipe first, and then a few notes afterward with the changes I made.  So, without further ado - here 'tis:


Shrimp Fried Rice
Makes: 4 servings, 2 cups each
Active time: 40 minutes | Total: 40 minutes
Cost per serving: under $3
This healthy shrimp fried rice recipe is packed with vegetables and makes 4 generous servings, so you'll need to use a large skillet that is at least 12 inches wide. A large wok also works well. If you have cooked rice on hand, omit Step 1 and add 2 1/2 cups cooked rice to the pan in Step 5.
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup instant brown rice
2 tablespoons hoisin sauce (see Tips)
4 teaspoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
4 teaspoons canola oil, divided
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
8 ounces peeled and deveined raw small shrimp (51-60 per pound; see Tips)
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
4 cups stringless snap peas (12 ounces)
1 medium red bell pepper, cut into
1/2-inch pieces
2 medium carrots, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
4 scallions, chopped
1. Combine water and rice in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat. Cover, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until the water is absorbed, 10 to 12 minutes. Spread the rice out on a large baking sheet to cool.
2. Combine hoisin sauce, soy sauce and sesame oil in a small bowl; set aside.
3. Heat 1 teaspoon canola oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add eggs and cook, stirring to help break into smaller pieces, until just set, about 45 seconds. Transfer the egg to a bowl.
4. Add another 1 teaspoon canola oil to the skillet and return to medium-high heat. Add shrimp and cook, stirring occasionally, until pink, 1 1 /2 to 2 minutes. Transfer the shrimp to the bowl.
5. Heat the remaining 2 teaspoons oil in the skillet over medium-high heat. Add ginger and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in snap peas, bell pepper, carrots and scallions; cook, stirring occasionally, until tender-crisp, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the rice and the reserved egg and shrimp; cook, stirring, until heated through, about 1 minute. Remove from the heat and gently stir in the sauce mixture.
Per serving: 307 calories; 11 g fat (2 g sat, 5 g mono); 165 mg cholesterol; 34 g carbohydrate; 2 g added sugars; 17 g protein; 5 g fiber; 462 mg sodium; 523 mg potassium. Nutrition bonus: Vitamin C (157% daily value), Vitamin A (147% dv), Folate (23% dv), Magnesium (21% dv), Iron (18% dv), Potassium (15% dv). 
Now, I don't like shrimp, nor do I like red bell peppers, ginger, or scallions, so I tweaked the recipe a little bit.  I used chicken breast instead of the shrimp, organic carrots instead of the peppers and scallions, and simply omitted the ginger.  I also used extra virgin olive oil in place of the canola oil and added about a cup of water to my snap peas and carrots so that they were cooked completely tender, not just "tender-crisp." 

Here's a snap shot of my final product:


And, in case you're wondering, it WAS delicious!!! 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

For the Glory Of God

I've been pondering my next blog post for a while now.  It seems like I don't usually have a shortage of things to say, but I often have a shortage of intelligent things to say *HA!*  But over the past few weeks, one particular thing has been on my mind - one thing that I think most people ponder, at least at some point in their lives.  And that one thing that I've been thinking about is this:  What is my purpose?  What am I here for?

I've always been a bit of a dork.  I was one of, if not THE, most unpopular girl growing up in school - ridiculed and teased beyond belief, beat up on the play ground - you all know the type.  I spent most of my childhood into my teenage years just trying to fit in, but never really found that place where I felt "at home."  Because most of the people around me pushed me away, I immersed myself in the one thing that would always need me - my pets.  I know that sounds pretty ridiculous, but it's true.  I can't ever remember NOT having a pet (other than my first few years of marriage before Brian and I moved out to our farm - and lonely years those were!!).

I can remember being a toddler and having our first family dog - a German short hair named Gypsie.  Next was our English spring spaniel - Sandy, my black lab/German shepherd mix - Lady, miniature dachshund - Heidi, black lab/Irish setter rescue - Duke, a tiger salamander I caught on our school playground that we named (shockingly), Tiger.  Hamsters - Gizmo, Missy, and Tucker.  And a list of Chinese fighting fish (betas) - I rarely had less than 3-4 at a time (in separate bowls, of course, as the males have to be separated or they kill each other).  There was my first, Fido (who, ironically, was the last of ALL of the fish I had to die), Star, Fantasia, Smokey, Crimson, Azul, and the list goes on and on...

As with most young pre-teen girls, I began babysitting when I was about 12.  By the time I was 14, I was nannying full time during my summer breaks for families with no less than 3 children.  The day I turned 16 (literally), I was working full time (in between my home schooling classes) at one of our local day care centers with children ages 2-5.  Although it was a job that paid relatively well, especially for a young high school student, I never really enjoyed working with kids.  However, the expectation of girls doing child care was one of those things that I thought I was supposed to do and that it was something I just had to grow to enjoy.  But no matter how much babysitting or nannying I did, working with kids just never became my niche.

As I grew older, I guess I assumed that a love for kids would just "come to me," after all, that's what ladies are supposed to do, right?  Be the nurturing, mothering type?  Even after I had my own daughter and I started getting roped in to working in the nursery at church, I just never developed that passion for little people that I see SO many other women have.  Don't get me wrong - I absolutely adore my little girl - she is my greatest joy!  But, I don't particularly get excited about changing other children's dirty diapers or wiping snotty noses.  I'm just not wired that way.  And, for many, MANY years, I thought there was something wrong with me - especially since taking care of kids is something young girls are taught to do from a VERY young age!

Then, one Sunday morning, our pastor was doing a sermon series - I can't even remember which one it was - but he said something to the effect of, "Working with children is not my gift - you don't want me to do it.  If I do, you're children will never be the same and you won't be happy parents."  That really struck me.  If it was OK for our senior pastor to not be gifted in working with children, maybe it was OK for it to not be my gift either.

After that sermon, and mind you, this has only been within the past 3-4 years or so, I began to realize and accept the fact that working with kids was not my cup of tea.  It's not that I don't like kids - there are actually some children that I adore and seek out to talk with and get special hugs from - but I lack the creativity, patience (and sometimes even the stomach), to love and be effective with them.

So, I started exploring the natural love and talent that began developing in my heart as a young child so many years ago - a passion for animals.  I stopped trying to force myself to be something I wasn't or function in a capacity that wasn't my strength, and began focusing on my abilities and my strengths.

Over the past few years I have been awed by where the Lord has brought me and how He has continued to develop my gift of working with animals - something He could not have done had I not allowed myself to see past what others expected of me and clung to what God needed of me - the purpose I truly believe He created me for.

What does my purpose look like?  Well, let me tell you that it has taken MANY forms!  From rescuing a sea gull with a broken wing to trapping and re-homing stray cats.  In January of 2010, I took in a stray dog that had been roaming a 20+ mile radius of the country and named her Faith.  Faith ultimately became a "poster child" for a non-profit animal rescue, Animal Lifeline of Iowa, and touched the lives of MANY school children in the greater Des Moines area.

Faith
God has also brought many opportunities for me to expand my skills.  One afternoon, my husband was working on installing siding on our house.  He was sitting on the roof of our porch, right outside our bedroom window.  I was inside sitting on our bed with the window open talking to him.  The next thing I know, Brian says, "Ummm, Honey, we have some horses on the yard."  Now, we've lived at our farm for 7+ years and in ALL this time we have never even SEEN any other horses in our neighborhood let alone had any on our yard.  It ended up that a neighbor down the road had a pasture WAY back from the road - a field you couldn't even see from the road.  At that time of the summer we'd gotten a huge rain storm that had washed part of his fence out and allowed all 9 of his horses to escape their pasture.  As a herd animal, the horses were drawn to our farm where our own horses were grazing.  Although I have 2 beautiful horses, I would LOVE to have more and when I saw these 9 gorgeous animals strutting across my lawn, I looked up and said, "Thank you, Jesus!"  To which my husband replied, "No, Dear, we can't keep them!"

I saw the situation as a way to hone my skills.  My husband wasn't nearly as thrilled with the predicament, but I could hardly contain myself.  Even with completely strange beasts that could easily charge if spooked, I felt a tremendous sense of courage as I walked outside with a coffee can full of grain into the herd of 9 some 800+ pound animals.

It was getting dark, so I knew I needed to work calmly and swiftly to contain all of the horses.  In the country where we live, there are few, if any, fences separating the fields and the 4 lane highway is a mere mile straight west across the field from our house.  With no fences to stop them, and night closing in, the horses needed to be corralled not only for their own safety, but for the safety of people as well.  I eyed one of the horses that seemed to lead the herd.  I slowly walked up to him with my hand held flat.  He took a few steps toward me, then bucked and ran back.  I stayed with him and he eventually came to me and ate grain out of  my hand.  From there, trust had been established, and I ended up having all 9 horses literally follow me down to one of our empty lots where they were fenced in and safe.  Shortly thereafter, the neighbor that owned the horses showed up at our farm with a HUGE sigh of relief.  All of his treasures were safe and I gained a whole lot more confidence in my ability that night!

Our 9 Visitors - April 30, 2012
 
In addition, I've been given the opportunity to do some dog sitting for friends and family - something I love to do!  We've had many visitors to our home over the past several years - Peyton, Lucky, and Catalina, to name a few.

Another recent adventure has been that of a miniature pot bellied pig named Miss Ellie Mae.  I've blogged about this whole story before, but as a recap, I came across a "wanted" ad, on Craig's List about a family looking for a miniature pot bellied pig for their autistic son.  After sensing the Lord's leading, I was able to find, acquire, and ultimately introduce Miss Ellie Mae to the this family who immediately fell in love with the little piggy and made her part of their family.

Miss Ellie Mae - taken during her 2 day stay with us.

Miss Ellie Mae in her new forever home with her new forever friend, Dakoda.




My most recent encounter happened just last weekend.  We own a second acreage about 4 miles from our home and last Saturday evening, Brian drove over to check on it.  He no more got out of his truck and he heard something breathing hard and snorting behind him.  He turned around and there was a horse standing there obviously agitated and on the defensive.  He walked toward it a bit and it started bucking and took off running down the gravel road. 

Brian came back home, where Madeline and I were camped out, and yelled up the stairs, "Honey, I need some help."  I asked him what was wrong and he told me about the horse.  I asked Brian to go down to the barn to get some grain and one of my lead ropes while I got Madeline suited up to be out in the cool night air.  I grabbed my spotlight on the way out the door and we headed back to the other place.  I also called the county sheriff to come out and help as we had no idea where the animal was, it was pitch black outside, and we were going to need help tracking not only it down, but the owner as well.  After walking our 3 acres of land, and searching the gravel road and adjacent fields, the deputy found the horse down a long lane and called us to come back to catch it.  I was seriously thrilled at another opportunity to learn and work with an animal who was obviously in need of a human hand.

I walked toward the horse and it turned around and ran a ways, turned around again, and ran straight at me.  I stood my ground and she stopped about 5 feet in front of me.  I started talking to her and reached out my hand with some grain.  She spooked and ran away, so we started all over again.  Eventually, I was able to earn her trust and get my lead rope around her neck.  The deputy figured out who she belonged to and we returned her to the safety of her pasture.

Over the years I've seen the Lord do GREAT things in the lives of people through animals.  Studies have even shown that interaction with animals can lower blood pressure, reduce cholesterol, and relieve depression. According to Stephen F. Winner, a co-founder of the Silverado Senior Living Aspen Park Community in Salt Lake City, the presence of animals "infuses our environments with life'' and brings demonstrable medical benefits, including reduced depression and lower blood pressure. But perhaps just as important is the boost to self-esteem that assisting in the care of an animal can bring.  At this particular facility, a "mandatory minimum ratio'' of one dog and one cat for every 10 residents is maintained to help improve the quality of life for nursing home residents.

But, in order for these animals to have the opportunity to impact the lives of people, humans have to exist to prepare those animals for service.  As unusual or unconventional as it may seem, I believe with all my heart that the Lord has given me this gift - the ability to work with animals to impact the lives of others.  Many people have criticized me for my passion - I've even lost friendships because I've refused to buy in to others' opinions that "they're JUST animals" and not worthy of any kind of physical or monetary investment.  But I'm choosing, instead, to follow the Holy Spirit's leading in my life and whether I eat or drink or whatever I do, I'll do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Our beautiful horses, Penny (left) and Philly (right).
 
Our cat, Johnathan

Our second cat, Jedediah, and treasured friend, Lady, who sadly passed away in March of 2008

Our dog, Zip

Our sweet sheep, Rosie
On a final note, I must give credit and praise to my awesome husband, Brian.  He has supported me through all of my shenanigans and adventures and has always encouraged me to try new things.  Not just any husband would allow their wife to bring a pot bellied pig in to their home (literally) or bring home a 1 week old bottle lamb that ends up having to stay in the house for nearly 2 months to recuperate after being kicked by a horse and suffering a broken jaw.  Brian has been my greatest supporter, my constant encourager, and my most trusted friend and I couldn't imagine embarking on this trek we call "life" with anyone else.  I love you, Sweetheart!!

Brian napping with Zip, 2005


Brian teaching Madeline how to bottle feed Rosie - May, 2010